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supernatural-tardis:

i had a crush on this guy and i decided to pull a Pavlov on him by offering him whenever i saw him  this brand of candy he seemed to really like and after a while whenever he saw me he got excited for a second then you could see his expression shift to wondering the why the hell was he so happy to see me and i swear it was the evilest thing but also the most hilarious i made a guy like me by conditioning him into associating me to a candy he liked

humansofnewyork:

"If they raise the subway fare one more time, I’m going to explode. I’m making nine dollars an hour. I walk home three hours from work every day to save that $2.50, because that’s a half gallon of milk for me and my daughter. And every time they raise the fare, they have a ‘hearing.’ But they aren’t hearing anything. It’s a fucking joke. If you go to one of those ‘hearings,’ every single person stands up and says: ‘Don’t raise the fare.’ Then they raise it anyway. Oh man, it burns me up. ‘We need the money,’ they say, ‘America is hurting.’ That’s bullshit! If I see one more TV program bragging about multimillion dollar homes I’m gonna scream. How about a fucking TV program that shows me if there is anywhere in this city that I can fucking afford to live anymore. I’m sorry, but it’s burning me up."

holligenet:

daftwithoneshoe:

askmeifimadalek:

Can we take a moment

The founders of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, four of the greatest wizards and witches of all time …

… and they decided to have a school song that goes like,"Hogwarts, Hogwarts, hoggy warty Hogwarts…"

I am now picturing Helga, Rowena, Salazar, and Godric all sitting around a table going “well, fuck, what rhymes with hogwarts”

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